Here are some pics from LA!


An orange tree!



Hanging with Mike, Valentine McKee, Scott Turner and Clyde the Bartender. Good pals!



The Bates Motel! Creepy!



Hollywood sign!



With a celebrity dog. I don't know which one, but you could tell he was a celebrity because he wouldn't answer my repeated requests for autographs and he was driving a really nice car.



Marc hilariously staring at a bunch of middle aged guys who were protesting outside the Oscars saying that global warming is a lie. We spent some time listening to their stories then were harassed by a homeless guy named Buddy for like 45 minutes who drew stuff on cards for us.



Josh discreetly giving me the finger.



A Wookie! Hollywood Blvd. is covered with these things. This one is threatening two little children with his hairy paws. What a jokester!



At the Oscars! I lost Best Supporting Actor to Alan Arkin, but I won Best Guy.


Arlen

I will begin by sharing that the comments are still down. For a free service, blogger doesn't seem to eager to help us out. Geez... So, if any of you have had a similar problem and you have figured out how to fix it, if you could post a com- right... SON OF A BITCH! Fine... you win blogger. I give up. I can't beat you. I am a mere mortal man, and you, you are deity-like in your machineness.

Anyway, I really wanted to comment on Arlen's post and Jules' post about how they made me feel, and I tried, but I, like you I'm sure, could not. So I was going to post here all that stuff, but then Jules said that mine had to be funny. Funny? Julian, you and Arlen are gone. I'm not funny remember? I was the straight man... The only thing this blog would be is set ups with no one to knock them out of the park.

So, instead I thought I would share a little dialogue Julian and I had on MSN. Consider this one of the first installments of Long-Distance Young Guns. Portions of the dialogue have been edited for maximum hilarity, expect the uncut version in the special edition DVD we are bound to release.

It started with Julian putting a "?" at the end of a statement that didn't need a question mark.

Jules = A
Joe = B

A: Why the "?"? What is with 'em? Am I right ladies and gentlemen? I mean, what IS the deal with question marks?

A: Hello?! Who's with me? Is this thing on?!

A: Anyway... who here has parents?

B: Oh... I do.

A: What's the deal with them? Right?!

B: I know! You are right...

A: Anyway... Who here has arms? Anyone? Arms?

B: Hey, I've got two of those! He's talking about me!

A: I mean, c'mon! Really!? What are arms good for?

B: He's right! Hey everyone, we should all chop off our arms...

A: Any oxygen breathers in the audience tonight?

B: Oh! Oh! Me!

A: What's the deal with breathing? All this air in, and out again. I feel like I should be charging a toll. Am I right?

B: Yeah... stop taking advantage of my lungs oxygen! He's so right...

A: Speaking of tolls, what's with them? They sort of sound like trolls. Could you imagine a troll paying a toll? I think it might sound a little something like this: (using a gruff voice) "Ugg... me no like tolls!"

B: That IS what it would sound like!

A: That was my closer ladies and gentlemen, I just want to take this time to tell you, you have been a terrific audience. Thanks for coming out and don't forget to tip your waitress, but don't push too hard, she might fall over!


Good times. I can't wait to get on stage with you again Jules so this gold could be shared live.

Anyway, I could mention all the other stuff going on with me right now, like how my new single-ness is going, the on-going job hunt and the impossible search for an affordable highrise apartment downtown, but I don't think Jules would classify those as "funny". So instead I will close this blog by making fart noises.

(fart)

(squeely fart)

(fart)

(LOUD fart)

(sloppy fart)

(fart)



Joe

I made it everyone, all the way to New Zealand. I got here with no place to live after 2 weeks, By then I will have overstayed my welcome at the home of some family friends whom I’d never met, but have since become a stand in for my parents. They have gotten me food, driven me around, helped me open a bank account and fed me bottle of wine after bottle of wine from the family vineyard. They have really been fantastic. Tough life, I know. But all these very nice gestures they’ve made and the beautiful surroundings I’ve been in for over a week don’t make life alone much easier.

You see, other than them, I don’t know anyone. It’s been tough not being able to just text or call a few people, hop in my car and be hanging with someone in a matter of a few hours. For instance, I’m writing this on a Saturday night alone. I just made some dinner for myself, watched rugby on TV (40” plasma no less) and I’m now laying in bed at 10 O’clock. I can’t remember the last time I did that. Oh ya, the night before…


I did however find a flat in under a week. I beat out about 30 other people who were also looking at the place. I guess they liked the cut of my jib. I do have really nice jibs. However, I don’t have a bed yet, so that’s the next step to having any sense of home at all here in NZ. In due time I guess.

Sometimes over the past week or so I’d think “What the hell am I doing!?”. I guess I’m just feeling a wee bit home sick, and sometimes that hurts a little. They say time makes all things go away. But it’s time that has taken my tomorrows and turned them into yesterdays.

I stole that line, but I thought it fit.

But forget about what has happened, or what might happen… I need a bed NOW!!

I’ll keep you posted. Thanks for listening friends.

j.

Oh, and here's my view, it's no edmonton river valley but still.