Hello You,

Once in several lifetimes an actor is born that forces the entire movie industry to rethink film as they know it. Those is the movie business, or “the business” as they call it in the business, can feel the “Christ-esque” aura that this actor exudes when plying his or her craft while weaving storyline, plot and characterization into a braid of movie magic. It’s true that there are awards that are given to those actors that conform to “the academy’s” view of greatness. But there is a second level of acting supremacy that some, so called, method actors attempt to obtain by drawing on life experiences and staying in character for the entirety of a films production. “Nice try” I would say, “but there are things you will never do” I would follow up with. For example a movie called “The Child Killer”, good luck finding a studio that will hire a method actor for the lead in that movie. Sucker. Life experience needing sucker.

But I digress. It is my opinion that we, as the movie going public, are currently bearing witness to the next “God of Acting”. You may have already seen him in a number of Independent classics or Blockbuster hits and not even realized you were watching the savior of film. His movies include Galaxy Quest, Joe Somebody, Big Trouble, Christmas With The Kranks, The Santa Clause (1, 2 and 3:The Escape Clause), and the Insta-classic The Shaggy Dog. My friends, allow me to introduce to you, again, for the first time… Tim Allen, in his newest cinema masterpiece, Zoom.



“But Mr. Julian Faid, that idea seems very similar to X-men and The Fantastic Four?” You might say. Well Fine, but consider this counterpoint: “It isn’t similar. Discuss”

“But Mr. Julian, are they not simply cashing in on the Super Hero trend that is so prevalent in movies today?” You may also ask. To which I would say “No”, to which you may then ask for an explanation, but I would ‘shush’ you. As I would no doubt be watching this movie and therefore improving myself as a person.

I implore you to do the same. Improve yourself by taking in all you can at the Church of Allen (i.e, South Common) and bring the family, even grandma, but make sure she pays full price and doesn’t accept the seniors discount. That way she will improve as much as the rest of the people that see… Zoom: The Passion of The Allen.

Bravo Tim, Let's get this party started indeed.

Julian

P.S. It's great to see that Child obesity doesn’t have to be a bad thing like the media would have us believe. This movie shows it can be a super power if used correctly. However, if used incorrectly, it will result in daily bullying from those with a normal metabolism. Take your pick fatties.